Monday, May 11, 2009

Simple Steps to Overcome Marital Problems

We all know that every relationship has issues - particularly when you're married, marital problems are simply a part of life. As easy as it is to say, though, it's pretty hard to remember that when you and your spouse are angry with each other. I'm sure there are times when you think you're the only couple on the planet with issues.

That's simply not the case. Every couple has fights, but some couples effectively utilize relationship help to make the rough times, well... not so rough.

There are things you can do to keep marital problems from taking over your relationship. Now, that doesn't mean that it's always easy to remember to use these techniques - often, we worry too much about being right, and forget that the marriage is more important than proving our spouses wrong.

Here are some of the techniques you can use to help reduce the impact of problems in your marriage:

  • Show respect for your spouse, even when the two of you are fighting. Don't engage in name calling, dredging up fights from a decade ago, or insulting your spouse. These tactics won't solve anything... but they can certainly make your marriage difficult to salvage.
  • Listen to your spouse. You both have the right to be heard, and to have your feelings acknowledged and understood. Take turns talking about your viewpoints... when it's time for your spouse to speak, don't interrupt him or her!
  • When you're wrong, admit that you're wrong! For some of us, this is painfully difficult, but you need to learn how to do it if you want to have a happy and healthy relationship. If you want your spouse to admit his or her mistakes, you're going to have to extend the same courtesy. It can even help you allow yourself to be human.
  • When you say you're going to change to help make your relationship better, follow through! Empty promises only show your spouse that you can't be trusted, and eventually, your spouse will learn not to believe anything you say.

These tips, when with other relationship strategies, will help you work through the problems in your marriage. If you want to build a happy, healthy partnership without constant fighting and drama, or if you and your spouse have split up and you want to get your ex back, I'd recommend checking out Save the Marriage - it's helped thousands of couples, just like you, fight less and enjoy each other more!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Basics of Dealing with Marital Problems

Deep inside, we all know every relationship has issues. It's pretty hard to keep that in perspective when you're dealing with marital problems, though - it can feel like you're the only couple on earth that doesn't communicate or understand each other.

The point isn't to take comfort in the fact that everyone else is dealing with marital problems... the point is to realize that there are some couples who have learned how to effectively utilize relationship help to strengthen their marriages and make it through the rough times.

There are things you can do to help keep marital problems from taking over your relationship. These things are quite simple, but we often get so caught up in being right and winning arguments that we forget to use these techniques. We lose sight of the importance of our marriages, and forget how much our spouses really mean to us.

First, even when you're fighting, you have to respect one another. Name calling, bringing up things that happened a decade ago, and insulting each other are not allowed, even in a fight. They don't do anything to resolve the situation - in fact, they always make things even worse.

Second, listen to your spouse. Each partner should get equal time to speak without interruption. You love your spouse, so shouldn't his or her feelings be valued?

Third, when you're wrong, admit it. This can be very difficult to do, but it's critical to the long term success of a relationship. If you want your spouse to forgive you, you're going to have to be an adult and admit when you make a mistake. It's not the end of the world... in fact, it can even be empowering to allow yourself to be human.

Finally, when you say you're going to make a change to help the relationship, do it. Empty promises eventually create an atmosphere of distrust, and it won't be long before your spouse refuses to believe anything you say.

These tips, when used in conjunction with other reslationship strategies, will help you work through nearly any marital problem. If you want to build a strong, happy relationship without all the fighting and drama, I'd recommend checking out Save the Marriage - it's helped thousands of couples, just like you, fight less and enjoy each other more!